Updates

It has been more than three months (well, more or less) and I'm not even in the mood to write actually. But I've decided, I have to. It's something that I've always done, I've always loved. And right now, I don't know which side of myself I am at.

Living at home, ain't as freeing as some people might assume. Guys, especially, have the privilege of waking up late and not doing anything at all, but that doesn't apply to girls. We have house chores and there were times that I even cried because I didn't think I was having enough time for myself, and I really really need my me-time. Always. There are no more coffee sessions, or just me with a book.

But I'm not complaining. Life is that. And life is this.

Heck, who knows what life is if it isn't a race to meet Perfection itself, knowing the Perfection doesn't exist but exists all the same?

I'm trying to sort my life out, after graduation. Well, scratch that. I'm trying to TRY to sort my life out, after graduation. I adore, look up to people who have an idea where they're heading to. But I am still here. Not knowing, just believing that God will steer me to the right path.

I've no idea. And I don't like being like this.

Kak Roza once told me, nak apa-apa, just ask from Allah. Asma' too had advised me the same. But maybe I'm not asking enough. Maybe, just maybe.

These three months, was nothing short of a roller-coaster ride. Being angry over people not knowing how to handle rejections, when I was that person who didn't know how to handle rejection. Being misdiagnosed with TB, when I don't have TB at the first place. Being a daughter, a sister, and someone that I have not known all my life.

And right now, Idk what to ask. What do I ask really?

Ya Allah.