Of Being Provided
I was craving for big, juicy prawns last week. I mean, like the biggest, juiciest prawns that can only be found in Kuala Muda, Kedah, MALAYSIA. Err, in a nutshell, I miss home.
So I WhatsApped Mommy.
Me : Nak udang besar.
Mommy replied the message the next morning (that's typical of Mommy, trust me!).
Mommy : Abah kata belilah... Makan punya pasal. Di rumah ada banyak baru beli di Kuala Muda. Freessssh.
That's also typical of Abah. He has this habit of wanting to provide EVERYTHING for me. The thing is, sometimes, what I want is not what I need (sometimes). A few situations of where he asked me to buy ANYTHING I wanted.
Situation 1
Me : Kakak punya kasut kulit koyak.
Abah : Buy another one yang elok sikit, cari Snowfly or something. You're never good with shoes. (that I agree)
Me : But I can still use my sport shoes, they're comfortable.
Abah : Just buy a pair of new shoes.
Mommy : Abah has said that. So, go buy yourself a new pair.
Well, Abah, if you're reading, I didn't buy any pair of shoes. *sorry*
Situation 2
Me : Abah, that handbag is so pretty.
Abah : Kakak nak ke? You're going to use it afterall.
Me : No, I still have the one I'm wearing now. I have lots of handbags at home.
Abah : But this one is pretty.
Me : I don't need it.
I'm sure now you can see how Abah is. I might've been a spoilt brat if it wasn't for Mommy, who keeps rationalizing things for us, siblings. Mommy has always told us,
" In life, you can't get everything you want. So, when you have the access to everything you want, limit yourself from taking advantage of that. Sebab bila susah nanti, you're not used to all the hardships, sebab selalu manjakan diri dengan kesenangan je. Bear in mind, semuanya milik Allah. Bila-bila masa Allah boleh tarik balik. So make sure that you know that by heart,"
:')
Anyways, back to the main point. When I received that WhatsApp text, I was preparing for a midterm test at that time, and yes, I was stressed out. Last week was just... crazy. 3 midterms in a week and I couldn't really sleep well. But everything was under control until :
Me : Akak ada test biological engineering lepas ni pukul 3. (so I replied)
Mommy : Good luck, banyakkan selawat, I know you can do it.
And with that, I broke down into tears.
I've noticed, with Mommy around, I tend to get so weak, because I will be so dependent on her, to the point that it's unfair to her, since I am 22, this year, and still I act like a spoilt child.
You see, all my life, I've always been provided with everything I need. Care, love, comfort, materials, strength. My parents had done a great job in making me feel that everything is perfect.
Till I demand for more.
Humans, we won't ever feel satisfied with what we have. We want more, though sometimes it's not what we need. Sometimes, the drive is good, but other times, the drive itself leads us astray from our main purpose in life.
So in this case, I am put in an extremely uncomfortable situation. I am far away from the place that I call home, but I'm grateful for this uncomfortable situation. Who knows that I am able to pull this through? Without my family on my side.
Because now I know by heart, even though my family is a strong SUPPORTING branch, it's still just a SUPPORTING branch as the main branch comes from Allah, since Allah is the one who gives everything and asks for nothing in return. Allah is the Only One, the One who gives my family to me, this wonderful life to me, and every lessons that I've learnt to me.
Alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah.
So I WhatsApped Mommy.
Me : Nak udang besar.
Mommy replied the message the next morning (that's typical of Mommy, trust me!).
Mommy : Abah kata belilah... Makan punya pasal. Di rumah ada banyak baru beli di Kuala Muda. Freessssh.
That's also typical of Abah. He has this habit of wanting to provide EVERYTHING for me. The thing is, sometimes, what I want is not what I need (sometimes). A few situations of where he asked me to buy ANYTHING I wanted.
Situation 1
Me : Kakak punya kasut kulit koyak.
Abah : Buy another one yang elok sikit, cari Snowfly or something. You're never good with shoes. (that I agree)
Me : But I can still use my sport shoes, they're comfortable.
Abah : Just buy a pair of new shoes.
Mommy : Abah has said that. So, go buy yourself a new pair.
Well, Abah, if you're reading, I didn't buy any pair of shoes. *sorry*
Situation 2
Me : Abah, that handbag is so pretty.
Abah : Kakak nak ke? You're going to use it afterall.
Me : No, I still have the one I'm wearing now. I have lots of handbags at home.
Abah : But this one is pretty.
Me : I don't need it.
I'm sure now you can see how Abah is. I might've been a spoilt brat if it wasn't for Mommy, who keeps rationalizing things for us, siblings. Mommy has always told us,
" In life, you can't get everything you want. So, when you have the access to everything you want, limit yourself from taking advantage of that. Sebab bila susah nanti, you're not used to all the hardships, sebab selalu manjakan diri dengan kesenangan je. Bear in mind, semuanya milik Allah. Bila-bila masa Allah boleh tarik balik. So make sure that you know that by heart,"
:')
Anyways, back to the main point. When I received that WhatsApp text, I was preparing for a midterm test at that time, and yes, I was stressed out. Last week was just... crazy. 3 midterms in a week and I couldn't really sleep well. But everything was under control until :
Me : Akak ada test biological engineering lepas ni pukul 3. (so I replied)
Mommy : Good luck, banyakkan selawat, I know you can do it.
And with that, I broke down into tears.
I've noticed, with Mommy around, I tend to get so weak, because I will be so dependent on her, to the point that it's unfair to her, since I am 22, this year, and still I act like a spoilt child.
You see, all my life, I've always been provided with everything I need. Care, love, comfort, materials, strength. My parents had done a great job in making me feel that everything is perfect.
Till I demand for more.
Humans, we won't ever feel satisfied with what we have. We want more, though sometimes it's not what we need. Sometimes, the drive is good, but other times, the drive itself leads us astray from our main purpose in life.
So in this case, I am put in an extremely uncomfortable situation. I am far away from the place that I call home, but I'm grateful for this uncomfortable situation. Who knows that I am able to pull this through? Without my family on my side.
Because now I know by heart, even though my family is a strong SUPPORTING branch, it's still just a SUPPORTING branch as the main branch comes from Allah, since Allah is the one who gives everything and asks for nothing in return. Allah is the Only One, the One who gives my family to me, this wonderful life to me, and every lessons that I've learnt to me.
Alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah.
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