Want

To have someone ask for your hand in marriage is a blessing.

Just imagine yourself in his shoes. Of all the girls he can choose, you're the chosen one. At least that's what he thinks. He doesn't know you yet. I mean, not completely. He doesn't know your red puffy eyes whenever you wake up from a deep sleep. He has never seen your heartiest laugh when you're among your best of friends. He can't describe the colour of your eyes. Are they of the colour deep-ocean blue, or the warmest hazelnut brown? Are they as black as the darkest night without stars? Can they tell him the stories he had never read? Or are they ordinary, but as pretty as the ordinary baby breaths?

He doesn't know all of those things about you. And you wonder if he really wants this. If he wants to be with you for the rest of his life.

He doesn't know if he loves you yet. But he wants to.

He wants to learn the ABCs of loving you. the 123s of your deep anger.

He wants to know your baby talks. Your silliest dreams. Your everything. 

Then out of the sudden, you question yourself, are you able to WANT to be loved? 

No, scratch that.

Do you want to love? 

And that's when you don't know if having someone to ask for your hand in marriage can be a blessing. Because you don't know if all the strength he had mustered, if all the sleepless nights he had experienced, doing istikharah over his decision, would actually  give him what he wants. 

The license to learn to love. To learn to know you.

Because you know you. And despite your gratitude for that offer, it's a lot to take in. And 'no' just might be an answer.