How selfish was I?

No.

How selfish am I to expect that he would always be there through rain and shine, when I'm not there as a whole? I was there, but.. only barely at the surface, and he tried to dig deeper... into my soul.

And he tried to rescue me.
But I wouldn't let him.

Mainly because I have no trust over him.
I have no trust over myself, whether I would take, whether I would be able to take the risk of getting hurt once again.

How selfish am I?

*sigh*

His sleepless, chilly nights were heated by my afternoons and our conversations, and laughters and cries. But I wasn't there. I wasn't there as me.

And now he is slowly disappearing away. From my life.

I felt him. There.
I have felt him and he was there before.

But I couldn't tell him not to go, not to leave.

Because I can't give my all. I can't take the risk.

I'm not sure if I miss him, or if I just miss his company.

*silence*

So he told me that he might have love for me, and I told him, I might too.

But did that really mean anything?
Because that word 'might' have the power of indecision. And I cannot blame him. For he is leaving.