Umm... hello. This is an awkward greeting after one whole year of not writing at all. In this blog, I mean. But even in Instagram posts, I have not been very consistent with writing long posts, and I have not been reflecting m…

Pagi. Hujan pagi ini benar-benar membuatkan saya terperosok kembali dalam lautan gebar, sesat, terkunci dalam hutan sesak. Nafas saya bagai ditolak tarik oleh dada saya sendiri.  Dada saya, terasa penuh. Penuh hingga ingin…

I'm not doing this right. I know. I've been binge-watching SVU since Friday when I have A LOT to do. I don't know, I'm just feeling a lot demotivated at the moment. I even feel so lazy to pray, and I know that'…

1) I need to lodge a complaint on how the toilet is leaking, and it makes me so mad, that the maintenance of this place is just out of the place. Yes, dear, out of the place. This place is pretty, but I think the construct…

The title of this not-so-awaited entry is a little bit cliche, but here I am trying to pick up where I have left off, about a year ago. I was in a really dark place, a year ago, and I was not happy, and I did something about it. …

" You have to know how to cope with your stress," " You've been crying since primary school till now, when you are working. I thought you have known how to be independent, by now," " You're al…

It has been almost a year. I have all these voices in my head and nothing to control them. I have contradicting reasoning and no one to tell me which one is true or which one is false. I'm my own person, a lot more headstrong…

Darah berjejeran di ruang kaki lima, terseret oleh beg roda yang di dalamnya cuma ada foto sekeping dua. Tangkai hatinya patah. Katanya hilang entah di mana. Dan dia tercari-cari, kalau-kalau hatinya terbang, tercicir di bandar b…

Telah aku susun satu persatu senja Dengan rahsia-rahsia Tatkala burung terbang kembali ke sarangnya Dan mega merebas cahaya Api alam yang makin menunduk Mengalah pada malam gelap. Ada sesuatu yang indah pada kekalahan Yan…

Dalam sekalung doa yang perlahan-lahan aku bisikkan kepada Tuhan, Adakah diriku dalam dirinya, tanyaku. Pertanyaanku terlampau palsu. Manusia, takkan mampu mengambil berdikit-dikit.  Mahunya sempurna.  Mahunya semua.…

Usually I have my writings to go to. But this time, I can't even write. It's like I'm stuck in this deep-hole of unlove. Expectations ruin love. And maybe I expect too much. A little understanding = pitch-black noth…

It has been more than three months (well, more or less) and I'm not even in the mood to write actually. But I've decided, I have to. It's something that I've always done, I've always loved. And right now, I do…

Perempuan itu ditarik, ditolak, dipijak, diinjak. Tuhan, Hikmah yang mana yang masih dia carikan? Cinta yang mana ada dalam sabar sebegitu?